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Sunday General Thread - September 19, 2021

Sunday General Thread - September 19, 2021

adamjm99

Make sure to check out [the first ever Rate competition](https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads/comments/prarhl/rate_announcement_the_inaugural_hiphopheads_rate/) from r/hiphopheads! It's gonna be a ton of fun!


A_aght

hey, how was your week? what are your ghosts?


BlazinTruth

That new Shark tape is fire


Stonerjoe68

Last night i downloaded BloonsTower Defense 6 on my phone and it was the best $5 ever spent. This game is so much nostalgia


clanindafront_

I remember playing that after I finished all my assignments at school


Stonerjoe68

Dude i played this shit in class all the time


TheVirtual_Boy

Tried to take somebody bitch cause I’m a bad person !!!!!


_G_R_I_N_C_H_

What are some songs where you think the beat was very hard to rap on Slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain DOOM - Lightworks


sessuFRFX

Yonkers


Anirban_The_Great

Ka - *Pray*


Scothead180

First beat on Champagne Poetry is just not good for rapping imo


Joementum2004

Armand Hammer - Indian Summer


Cohtoh

[Rx Nephew - Squabble (feat. Rx papi) ](https://youtu.be/P6VZlbvzqx4) *It's hard as fuck to catch this beat* *I will beat you til you dumber than this beat*


TheCannedYams

Banana Yacht by Westside Gunn comes to mind. Most beats without drums and that lack a certain rhythm in their loops.


CaptainGordan

Danny Brown - Ain't it Funny


drippinswagu69

Lupe droppinn this yr or is he just rustling Royce jimmies still?


-OmnipotentPotato-

He talked about working on a project and that was after the Royce stuff but I heard nothing about it since


-OmnipotentPotato-

what's the best music video of the year I really like Knees, Nobles, Family Ties


AutismIsntAChoice

The other baby keem video. First something of business


SBAPERSON

LNX stuff


petersandrew999

Family Ties & Nobles like you said, I'd also add Colors and Shapes, Are You With That?, Law of Averages, Juggernaut, Corso, Dont Shoot Up The Party, E-ER, Buzzcut, The Kiss Of Venus, Mazza


majorg17

I think you already gave the best answer with Knees. Seeing Groggs’ shadow when his verse starts hits too hard


CorsoHarry

Codeine Crazy with the DJ tags > version on streaming without them Call it Stockholm Syndrome but I need to hear that DJ Esco is the coolest DJ on the planet or I feel empty


nousername66

Even past that one song, I fuck with DJ tags in general. Listening to Waka mixtapes on Spotify and not hearing the tags, shit talking, and rewinds just feels off to me


Psirocking

I need to hear the newscasters talking during the “see what they did to biggie and pac” line


TheCannedYams

I was on Splice and there was a sound pack called Jewish Essentials. I was like, no fucking way wtf, but some of that shit sounded dope. Made [this](https://soundcloud.com/jose-cerca/hola-juan-carlos-1/s-GqdzmoTDtsC) with one of the samples. I did it as a joke at first, but then I kept working on it lol. I don’t usually share stuff I make, but I thought it was a funny story. 2:07 is my favorite my favorite part. Edit: [song title inspiration](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRVpnesT/)


TidalFlooring

yeah that’s hard 😭 big ups bro 🙏


TheCannedYams

I appreciate it a lot dude. Most beats I make don’t end up this good lol


detroit__dg1020

My Last.fm, On Repeat and statsforspotify are completely different… My top song on my On Repeat is my top song on Last.fm but it’s #2 on my statsforspotify for the past 4 weeks My #1 song on statsforspotify isn’t on my on repeat and isn’t even in my top 10 on last.fm. I haven’t listened to this song enough for it to be my #1 either, but I’ve listened to it enough to at least be in my top 10 songs so I’m confused


havetomakeit

trust statsforspotify more, [last.fm](https://last.fm) can be a bit weird at times


-OmnipotentPotato-

Claire's Back wsg and Own Appeal oddisee share a sample?


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I think now that I understand how it feels to have a killer mindset, staying consistent with it is the challenge. I need to stop letting circumstance define me and realize I really am that guy. I need to do everything with utmost confidence, to live life like the only outcome is success. I have to keep that unending anger stirring in order for me to stay focused towards my goals.


M0n33baggz

I was thinking this way but anger led me astray, leading with peace and love truly is the way. That’s just me tho don’t let me stop you


BoxCon1

Thank God California didn’t go thru with the recall Larry Elder is a clown


ahhhhhrealmunsters

Fr but tbh Newsom is wack af too Hopefully he starts sweating or some will do more changes like the housing bill now


contacts_eyes

This Drink Champs episode with Krayzie Bone is the best shit ever. Ive never sat through a whole episode but this was one of the best interviews ive ever seen.


Jordanwolf98

Damn I didn’t even know he went on there. Gotta check it out


contacts_eyes

Yeah it was a great interview up to the very end because NORE and Krayzie were so drunk they were barely talking intelligibly lol, but to be fair they each took about 20 shots throughout the interview.


Jordanwolf98

Sounds cool as shit lmao. Thanks for recommending it


911isaconspiracy

Remember Jill Scott’s intro song “Warm Up” on Beautifully Human: Words and Sounds vol 2? Is that “lalala” she does near the beginning of the track from somewhere? I checked wiki but didn’t find anything. Edit: I think I found it, it’s from the previous album’s song “He Loves Me”


zack_Synder

Playing dragon quest 11 and it's pretty fun. Killed that black dragon that was once stuck in the ice, can't remember his name. But yeah I'm enjoying this game alot. Although the current objective marker is literally gone and I'm pretty much lost exploring a cave, last cutscene was about finding a rare ore


spunkymnky

Would you recommend it to someone that's never played a Dragon Quest game? I don't really have any experience with JRPG's in general, but saw your comment and decided to check it out. Looks interesting.


funeralfairy

not op but i’ve played literally every dragon quest game and every spin off, and i’d def reccomend it. idk if you’ve ever played final fantasy or pokémon (or how familiar you are w jrpg gameplay) but basically if you like that style of gameplay it’s the same thing. turn based, a lot of grinding, a lot of dialogue. the formula can get really repetitive but i think you can def get hooked to it. if you have a switch (might be on playstation too idk) there’s a free demo of the game that’s like really generously long (i think around 8-10 hours), so you could download that and see if you like it. also if you want other free options, if you have a laptop/pc or android you can emulate some of the older ds games which are also really good (some of my favs from the ds are dragon quest 4, 9, monsters joker)


zack_Synder

Lmao, this is my first dragon quest game and I'm really enjoying it. If u have game pass u can just play it on there. I recommend it


Sexedecimal

I need a rapper to pick a really esoteric drug to rap about with the same level of dedication that Pusha T does about cocaine.


ishippounds

You’ll find them in those drug spaces tbh


M0n33baggz

I wanna do that but with dmt


Willlocas

Rome streetz raps pretty aggressively about selling psychedelics


Moron_on_Oxy-

What some songs to check out of his, need this rn lol


M0n33baggz

You just convinced me to listen to more Rome streetz


Moron_on_Oxy-

Me too lol


ghostmanonthirdd

Was hoping for more 2cb bars after Kanye. If anything just to make it more popular so I can relatively get my hands on it.


Michael__X

>Talk about 2cb in your raps you don't even do them drugs Lancey


GhostofRimbaud

🎶Boofin gas station kratom with satan🎶


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Sexedecimal

what is this from


AutismIsntAChoice

Idk made it up lol


CaptainGordan

There's the Leak Bros and PCP


Sexedecimal

Fuck they are actually a real example of this.


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HitRowe

Yea this shit has been annoying me low-key like oh no white woman went missing? Damn bro am I really supposed to care?


funeralfairy

if she was any other color would you care? like why care at all if at the end of the day the victim means nothing to you. but i don’t see why you’d automatically care just because she was a diff skin color.


itcantbefornothing

People will say this and act like the other person is in the wrong for not having sympathy for the victim, when takes like these evolve from frustrations of other marginalized groups not getting the type of spotlight and media purity treatment that white women get. Essentially saying “well, why don’t you just have sympathy for the white woman, you obviously r a bad person and racist “ and then doing nothing to acknowledge the legitimate source of this frustration. The reason someone would say this is because white women get a spotlight / sympathy that other women of color get denied?? If she was any other color, they would definitely care but the odds of them not knowing about it would be higher because the media doesn’t spotlight cases as such - hence the frustration of oh look another white woman missing spotlighted like crazy. If they were a woman of color, you wouldn’t even know about this instance to care. This is a really white answer that ignores so many things informing these dynamics. People that say “why bring race into it “ never think about the context surrounding these things.


funeralfairy

> Essentially saying “well, why don’t you just have sympathy for the white woman, you obviously r a bad person and racist “ yeah this is definitely what i said by asking if he would care. > If they were a woman of color, you wouldn’t even know about this instance to care. really stupid assumption to make so there’s no point in arguing w u bc u already made up your mind on who you think i am lmfao.


itcantbefornothing

??? You might need to re read ? “If they were a woman of color you wouldn’t even know about this instance to care “ - this is the truth because … the story would have not have been as reported… and so you wouldn’t have known about it….. as it is not as reported. That was all unrelated of my assumption of you.


xNastyNoahx

I don’t know if I would really think about it like that, her bf probably killed her or something that’s pretty fucked


dntsteponmyrafsimons

It’s always both tbh. We can raise awareness and point out the discrepancy in media coverage between white and nonwhite people who have gone missing without downplaying someone going missing which is always tragic. Not saying you were doing the latter


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SBAPERSON

Prob not, but a big part of the case if that the bf like 500% did it.


AutismIsntAChoice

Yeah agree but that’s why I didn’t think this whole thing felt that unique. Seems pretty straightforward. That’s why I thought it was that white women missing syndrome thing. Sad it happened though.


Sexedecimal

I've lately been reading Stereogum's *The #1s* column from the beginning and it's been interesting. I had a pretty conservative upbringing when it comes to cultural stuff so there's a lot of good music, some of it very well-known, that I never got exposed to as a child and I've found some new stuff that I like this way. I'm only up to the late '60s because I've been reading the column from the start, but I've still found a ton of new stuff to listen to. Most of y'all probably know most or all of these, since by definition they're quite well-known, but that's fine, I just like talking about songs. Just listing some of the songs covered on the column that I've like, *really* liked. * [Lloyd Price - Stagger Lee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCPutYaGFlE) - This song is a banger. It's about a guy who murders another guy because he steals his hat. I feel like you could rework the plot of this (it's apparently a traditional song rather than a Price original) and turn it into a gangsta rap tune if you wanted. * [Gary "U.S." Bonds - Quarter to Three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoopfp5iaKw) - Also a banger. Also "U.S." was probably a cool as shit nickname in the 50s. * [Tommy Roe - Sheila](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDWM3bLEB3M) - I mostly like this one because it's really weird. I don't know if the whole low-key southern pop thing will do it for anyone else here but eh. * [The Four Seasons - Sherry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMcWldfg28s) - Something I discovered while reading the column is that I really like The Four Seasons. Frankie Valli's voice is just ear candy to me. (The guy who writes the column, Tomn Breihan, hates it.) [Walk Like A Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzoIvwNqKpw) is really good too. * [The Tornadoes - TELSTAR](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryrEPzsx1gQ) - I really have no idea how to describe this at all. It's this weird instrumental sci-fi-sounding thing. Also the life story of the main guy from The Tornadoes is really sad. * ['Little' Stevie Wonder - Fingertips Pt. 2 (Live)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzJF_ASvWYg] - This is a slap. Stevie was fucking *twelve* when he made this, that's insane to think about. * [The Supremes - Where Did Our Love Go?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTBmgAOO0Nw) - The Supremes had a fuckton of #1s but I think this one is my favorite. I'd have to really think on it though, all of their hits are good. Also if you, like me, ambiently heard a lot of 80s radio as a kid, this is the song that "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell is based on. It's better than that song, but that song is good too. * [The Beatles - Help!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKUex3fci5c) - Same story as the Supremes (and the Stones who I'll cover below). Basically every Beatles #1 was really good? Other than maybe some of the later stuff. I'm probably partial to "Help!" because [Lil Wayne rapped over it once](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2xhpZhKf_w) but it's legit really good on its own. I know the Beatles don't need any defenders but this column helped me realize I've kinda taken them for granted. * [The Rolling Stones - Get Off Of My Cloud](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYgJZ79FmBo) - Apparently a lot of Stones fans don't like this song. I think it's really fucking good. IDK * [Little Anthony & The Imperials - Out of My Head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9MCeGYXb8U) - Motown babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy * [Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders - Game of Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RgXQSd9ojA) - I like but don't love this song but I wanted to post it because apparently Wayne Fontana set a cop car on fire once and only served like ten months for it. Based. * [Roy Orbison - Pretty Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KFvoDDs0XM) - I have a crystal clear memory, which I'm pretty sure is not actually real, of there being a Danny Brown song where he says "bitches on my dick cuz I look like Roy Orbison". I have never like, looked on Genius to see if that's actually something he said once. Anyway Roy Orbison is pretty good. * [The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPl37xWo-K0) - This song made me cry out loud over breaking up with my girlfriend. Only then did I remember that we had not, in fact, broken up. * [The Animals - House of The Rising Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fy7opKu46c) - First metal song, idc. Shout out btw to ["Please Mr. Custer" by Larry Verne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z9ntoTwQfc), which Breihan says is one of the worst songs to ever hit #1. I shudder to think what else has hit that top spot that this is only ***one of*** the worst.


lopark147

"Hoes on my dick 'cause I look like Roy Orbison" it's Belly of the Beast off his last album


Wittygame

In what world is House of the Rising Sun a metal song?


tak08810

I guess the vocals but def the kinda reach critics like to make lol


Sexedecimal

idk I was mostly joking but to me it does kinda sound like some of the early metal stuff I've heard. Sabbath and w/e. I have heard very little metal in my life so I might be way off. I'm not actually sure what people consider the first metal song to be.


Lukeba

maybe helter skelter by the beatles. not that bluesy tho


Wittygame

I’ve always looked at Helter Skelter as likely the first punk rock song


Lukeba

first punk song has to be a kinks song for me


Sexedecimal

Just think about it


ravioliisthebest

The house is burning is officially my favoorite album of the past few years. I can't stop listening to it its so damn good on every track. I don't even listen to full albums most of the time but I have rly been enjoying it and its inspired me to listen to old albums in full, which I appreciate as well.


TheCannedYams

I’m being 100 serious when I say I wish I felt this way about the album. I like it, but I wish I loved it. Favorite track?


ravioliisthebest

Right now it's Chad ft. YTGUT. I just really love the beat on that one, and the feature is short but sweet


TheCannedYams

Was a damn shame he didn’t get a longer feature. Great song though. Hey Mista and THIB are my favorites. They help me get into a no thoughts head empty vibe.


spunkymnky

TUT should've definitely either had a longer verse or a second verse.


Modalchemist

PSG is the most ass galactico team i've ever seen jesus christ this is bad


BoxCon1

I only watch them cuz of Messi Still waiting for his 1st goal, dudes hit the post twice, unlucky


Homiealmaya

Their win today got me heated as hell. Don’t really think they deserved the win against us ngl


je-re

fr man they are so lost tactically, there's no way a top team should be moving like [this](https://twitter.com/MessiMX30i/status/1438244438460047362?s=19) in possession


OOZI3M4N3

their team isn't even all that, they don't have a strong midfield at all. without verratti they're lost and even then, they need more than verratti to be a real force. mbappe doesn't wanna be there, the rest of the team isn't in sync with messi and neymar hasn't been great all season. they're proof that money can't buy success, look at how much money klopp spent on the liverpool team in comparison to how much psg has spent. the sweet irony in them pushing to keep mbappe instead of taking a world record fee for him so they could win the champions league with him, to them then drawing to a bottom of the barrel team from belgium is beautiful


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Do yall think I might be a sociopath? How tf do I tell if I am one?


M0n33baggz

You’re just too real for this world


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Yeah man I’m really like that bro. Respectfully. They don’t want none of this.


ghostmanonthirdd

I knew a guy who thought he was a sociopath so he went to a doctor and they diagnosed him with autism.


HitRowe

Idk why but this post was funny as fuck


ghostmanonthirdd

Might have been a bit out of hand but I was drunk. It’s a true story though.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Well I do have a person in my family who most likely has a lot of undiagnosed mental health issues so I wouldn’t be too surprised. And it’s a bit hard to tell considering at first glance you wouldn’t think so, just like with me.


Awhile2

Idk your comments are always so long I don’t read them


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Surprised there’s no inside jokes about it


Wittygame

Go to a licensed psychiatrist


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Can I do that for free?


tak08810

See a therapist. Psychiatrists, at least in the US, do mostly medication treatment these days. There is no medication treatment for antisocial personality disorder (the technical diagnosis that sociopathy/psychopathy is). Yes psychiatrists can and do do therapy but most of them do 15-30 min med checks once a month or less. If you’re looking for help diagnosing and treating a personality disorder like antisocial personality disorder you’re better off with a therapist who will talk to you 45-60 min once every 1-2 weeks. In both cases you’ll prob hit really long waitlists unfortunately unless you wanna pay out of pocket possibly several hundred a session. Yeah healthcare sucks in the US especially mental health these days.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Honestly if it means I have to stop buying protein or something like that then I doubt I can do it


Wittygame

If you have medical insurance then probably


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I was supposed to get money back apparently from insurance because of my operation almost a year ago, but every time I call or show up, they hold that shit off.


AutismIsntAChoice

I need marginally more information


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Comment history should be enough


That_one_guy_u-know

I read a bit rn. Make it big if that's your goal. Hopefully you reach it.


-OmnipotentPotato-

Bruh nobles isnt even greyed out anymore he just took it off the album. One of the best earl alc songs ever..


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Anyone else here watch Nick Briz? There’s a lot of controversy around him but I gotta admit I’m a fan. I honestly think I need to start bringing that energy into my life and shit; I’m tired of being a normal person and I’m convinced bringing a bit of that “I want the smoke” attitude will make life take me more seriously. That passion, that energy, that swagger. I need it back.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Anyone else find it easier to shoot deep 3s in gyms instead of parks? Most people I know think it’s the opposite. I ain’t no Curry but I’m starting to get a bit comfortable from that range. I don’t practice it often but seeing that I’m pretty efficient with it in games (although I don’t take them often), I need to.


Other_Damage

I'm a fan


2Hard2PickAUsername

1. Definitely if they have double rims 2. Wind is gonna push the ball during your shot a lot so Indoors is always the move imo


lupertazzis

Does anyone else think that Drake’s voice on parts of Hotline Bling (particularly the hook) sounds weird? It sounds like someone else doing a Drake impression


APhantomInspector

Has anyone been playing Deathloop? I been playing it for the last couple of days and I been enjoying it a lot!


qwert1225

Yeah its amazing


TheButtsNutts

Looks dope but I just don’t have the 60 for it rn. Hopefully I can pick it up for cheap in like a year or something.


jiddyjedi

You Said is the most underrated Thugger song and one of his best, on a slightly unrelated topic share your favorite Thug leaks


shitcanget

Magnolia


2Hard2PickAUsername

Guadalajara


BL0bama

that's probably my favorite track off BTG. love quavos verse too. favorite leak is probably life of sins


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B___Wade

My wife stays at home with our kid (soon to be kids), and that job seems so much harder than I ever expected. I'd take my career over that any day of the week. If you want to do it there are definitely opportunities (stay-at-home dads exist in our neighborhood), but it's so much more exhausting than to "just stay home and cook and clean and shit". If you even want to take a dump, for example, you gotta keep the bathroom door open to make sure the kid doesn't start drawing all over the couch with markers. My coworkers and clients can be unreasonable, but not nearly as unreasonable as a 3 year old. ​ Edit: I should specify being a *good* stay-at-home parent is difficult. If you're not comfortable just parking them in front of the TV or a tablet all day. And I should also specify that it's totally worth it for the kid if you can handle it.


leetcode4life

What if the kid has bad vibes or is just unpleasant to be around?


JWiLLii

It might seem glamorous, but being a stay at home parent is a full time job. This is coming from someone who grew up with one. That being said, I think it was beneficial for me and I'm glad that I wasn't raised in a day care and always came home to at least one parent. Having that extra attention was awesome. I wouldn't mind having a stay at home wife if I made enough money.


Wittygame

This is actually my dream. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually achieve it but I would love to be a stay at home dad or househusband.


Chlorophyllmatic

Nothing wrong with it, though I’ll add that it’s probably good/healthy to have some other aspirations outside of your role as a parent. My gf is in med school so I might get to live out your dream someday lol


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Chlorophyllmatic

You’ll find your footing at some point; I didn’t know what I wanted to do til I was almost at the end of sophomore year lol (though I will say it’s kinda silly that we go to college by default without direction).


AutismIsntAChoice

Probably low probability but good to have goals. One time a girl made me finger her in an uber sorta and turned out her dad has like a 20 million dollar yacht. That was probably my opportunity.


Manarang8

Sounds amazing, but finding a wife who'd want that or could even afford it would be difficult. On that note paternity leave should definitely be a thing in the U.S.


quetzalnavarrense

that's the dream need me a girlboss wife fr


marksills

i'd probably be trash at it and its probably harder than it sounds but not working sounds pretty good to me lol. Its not like they don't have a purpose either, what they're doing is probably more important than the rich heads


B___Wade

Wish more people shared that perspective. My wife and I have gotten a couple comments about how easy we have it from other parents because she stays home with our kid so we don't have to pay for child care, but this is coming from parents whose combined income more than triples my own so it just comes off as patronizing. It's definitely not an easy job and there's a reason daycares are so expensive.


JALbert

No, do you man. Taking care of your kids is the most important thing.


marksills

anyone remember the fake drake lines after he got boo'd at camp flog gnaw? can find some on some articles but they werent the good ones, tryna find the good ones


JALbert

Best dish: Korean fried chicken and waffles at Kitchen Story in Oakland. Literally everything there is nuts though, spiced candied bacon and honey butter biscuits, deep fried french toast ...


Wittygame

Oh shit, never heard of this spot. Gonna have to check it out soon.


Modalchemist

Everytime I listen to a somewhat underground hip-hop song on spotify and it automatically goes to another one that's supposed to fit that's style it's E.Coli lol, great song but I can't seem to get away from it


_Yunk_Vino_13

Same for me, everytime I listen to a drill song, Took her to the O comes up next.


majorg17

This is how it is with any vibey rap song and Love Is Only A Feeling. I love that song tho so I don’t mind


TheButtsNutts

favorite synth soundwave shape?


kalimkhan1234

Sine, just one, as pure a sound as it gets


JALbert

Supersaw. No shame in it.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Atlanta is the only show I watch on FX; shit is so amazing. Imma take up boxing again in case I get in a situation where I need to be disrespectful. Asserting yourself respectfully don’t cut it anymore; sometimes a sucker punch is the only thing that can get some people to shape up. I ain’t even do anything to warrant disrespect but I’m done with this shit. Mixtape coming out soon; finished recording and now just waiting for it to be mixed (aka the part I’m not good at). That day where I scored like 37 was the only day in all of my existence where I felt rewarded for choosing to exist. Not just choosing to exist but fighting to exist. Fighting and working hard everyday so I can hopefully manufacture a genuine smile for the second time. I wish I could always relive that day, because after that day, I returned to the cold and unforgiving mundanity of life and it was as if most of the will to exist left my body. It’s truly only the “started from the bottom” stories within ball and hip hop that keep me alive; I am only alive because I so strongly, so delusionally believe that I might be rewarded for my suffering even if 99% of evidence disproves that. I’m hooked on those stories like it’s a drug. I’ve made probably the most profound realization I’ve had in a while, and it’s honestly just as simple as that nothing I witness firsthand in my existence has ever convinced me and been convincing me to keep on living. I hate or fear just about everything normal in existence. I hate my job. I hate school. I hate spending money. I hate how I feel about a lot of things. I hate and am very afraid of how life works. I’m very afraid of connecting with people in my life for multiple reasons (namely being weak and being taken advantage of). I put up with all of these things for bell peppers; the reward is good enough to keep me going in the short term but if I keep getting the same shit over and over again without substantial increase in quality, I’m going to implode. I need beef, shit that actually has substance (or at least way more than bell peppers), to go with the bell peppers to give me a complete meal worth actually working for. It’s really only seeing hoopers hoop, hearing rappers rap, and witnessing them live great lives that’s convincing me to keep living because a lot of them had to work very hard for those great things but we’re given rewards every step along the way. Besides my mixtape, my achievements on the court, and my achievements on the weight room (all of which aren’t much but fulfill me nonetheless), absolutely nothing in life has ever given me fulfillment. My whole purpose for living is based off a hypothetical, a “might” and a “maybe.” Nothing in life has made me think “this is worth living for.” I never said that getting my paycheck. I never said that when I finish a paper or see my grade. All I can say upon seeing the results of most of my work is “I have to kill myself if this goes on for much longer.” The things I mentioned that do give me fulfillment make up such a small fraction of my time despite being the most important things on Earth to me. I’d like to think I’m given these challenges because I’m one of the few strong enough to not be crushed by them and that I’ll be rewarded in the future, but looking at things objectively, I’m going nowhere despite all I’ve done. As time passes, I subscribe more and more to the logic of death. It’s truly that hypothetical reward that’s convincing me not to quit, not anything in life. Living is literal pain for me. Sometimes physical pain; I can feel it in my head, chest, back, and stomach on some days. I kid you not when I say being alive causes me to be in constant suffering, which is why my attempts to make a life worth living are more frantic each time and why my addiction to that “rags to riches through balling and rapping” lifestyle is getting worse and worse everyday. If I’m never gonna make it as a rapper and baller and live each day in a futile attempt to make that dream come true, then I’m done with life. I really am bro. I can’t do this anymore. If I’m never gonna make it, then all that means is that this is just one bad dream that I need to wake up from. I’m not going to prolong my own suffering. I may not be perfect, but I did not do anything to deserve this. I haven’t killed, stolen, hurt, or harassed anyone. I haven’t lied, manipulated, or done anything to a degree in which it could substantially fuck someone up. I may not be the kindest person, but that’s only because I’m a human being trying to get some beef in that bell peppers and beef. If I can’t have the lifestyle I live my life for and therefore suffer for, then I refuse to suffer anymore. I’m going to wake up from this nightmare if it means I can’t make it. It’s all just a bad dream. It’s all just a bad dream.


DonASterling

You have a victim complex. Just do shit and stop complaining Also you lack purpose. Being "great" is not a purpose, a purpose is greater than any individual.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I do shit everyday. Woke up at 4:00 today to lift weights; saw absolutely nobody at the gym.


DonASterling

That is not doing shit. Your world is empty. That's not winning, that's losing. You need to be with people and those around you are the ones that make you great. You are alienating yourself from others. That is losing, not being great. You have deluded yourself into believing this is greatness. It is not. It is emtpy. Pursue somethinh deeper and more meaningful brother. I don't doubt your ability to be great. Go be great to people.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I don’t think you understand I’m tired of being hurt and taken advantage of. My squat and deadlift PR, shooting percentage, paycheck, and grades have all been more important as a result of that.


DonASterling

Yes I understand brother. But don't you see you are running. Do not let yourself be hurt and taken advantage of. Stand up for yourself. You are seeking refuge in these things you feel you have control over. This is depression/anxiety. Recognise it for what it is. Seek a new path, one of spiritual wealth and prosperity. The things you are chasing are just numbers. They aren't what truly matters and they aren't the things that define you.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

If you want me to honor the people important to me, then you’d also understand I can’t throw away my pursuit of greatness. If I lose, I won’t be able to forgive myself for a multitude of reasons, my uncle and my day one homie being a big one. Losing would mean not caring about the sacrifices they have made for me, the love and support they’ve given unconditionally, and the chance to be able to reunite with them one last time. I have no one else in my life like that. Everyone else is either: 1. Disrespecting me 2. Trying to take advantage of me 3. Someone who mutually doesn’t give a shit 4. Someone I either am not close enough with or care about enough to not burden them with any of my problems and uphold my image as a strong man who has it all figured out.


DonASterling

Yes, but that path of "greatness" is not external. It is internal. You have all it takes to be great, more so than most. You are wired too far in that direction, you need to relax and let others in. Yes there is the potential they may hurt you, but that is bravery to take that step and let them in, otherwise you are just being a coward and just being "great" to an audience that doesn't even know you. What is it to be great to a crowd of people that don't know you?


YOUNG_SOSA_24

They don’t need to know me, just need to appreciate what I do. The only talent I have in life is being an absolute demon who ain’t back down from shit. I just have to understand demon mode gotta be activated all the time.


DonASterling

You are more than demon mode. Demon mode is half. Go find the other half.


TheLonelyPotato666

Thanks for sharing. I'm trying to write a reply but it's hard. Those stories are glorious but realistically don't make the people in them much more fulfilled with their life. I want to give advice but know that after all I'm just guessing what would help.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

The thing is I already understand that the things that normally fulfill people don’t fulfill me. I’m just wired differently; I’m just like that. The reason I want to emulate those stories, why I want to be like Kobe, Iverson, Nas, Gibbs, Curry, those guys is because I understand that being great is what makes me feel like a living, human being. Being great will allow me to live that dream of having to only worry about my workouts, my shooting percentage, and the songs I make.


TheLonelyPotato666

Those people definitely got other things to worry about though. Especially when you think of somebody else like Eminem who had a rags to riches story but then spiraled into a drug problem when Proof died. Imagining a future scenario and thinking 'this would make me content' is probably your mind playing tricks on you.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I can’t, like I actually can’t, process how it is to live life another way. That greatness is the only thing that gives my life value.


RubenSchwagermann

Homie, on everything I feel for you. But you should really look into talking to a therapist or trusted person sometimes man, you might be surprised how that can work. Also good luck on your mixtape


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I’m alone and barely scraping by. I’ve only ever felt at peace on the court and in the gym. I wish I could relive that same day over and over again. Does free therapy exist or am I right to believe it’s a myth? I don’t want my failings to cause me to be taken advantage of again.


namesrhardtothinkof

You need God. And to strip away your illusions. You think you need many things to live and to be happy. You are living like a slave or a rat on a wheel.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Nah fuck god. That shit was a big cause of my unhappiness. I don’t need many to be happy. Is it so difficult, is it so wrong for someone to want to just hoop and lift weights without a care in the world? I’m out here trying to live life on my own terms and I suffer for that daily.


namesrhardtothinkof

Alright brother. Don’t make peace with yourself. Don’t make peace with the world. You can continue to suffer for as long as you want. Many of us manage to do it our entire lives.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Aight then. If that’s what the world wants so be it. I’m done fuckin’ playing bro. Done playing nice. Shit ain’t sweet no more. I’m bringing the smoke wherever I go then. Imma make the world apologize to me. I’ll make it regret treating me this way. When I’m sitting in a fuckin maybach they won’t be laughing no more. Quit fuckin playin with me bruh. Im so tired of this shit. I haven’t done anything wrong. I wake up, work hard in order to make something of myself, and go to sleep to repeat the process and yet I’m being treated like a criminal for that.


FightMiilkHendrix

Oh no this is a anime villain origin story isn't it?


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Embracing that villain role like I’m Trae Young; maybe I was made to be hated and that will make succeeding even more satisfying


FightMiilkHendrix

Theres no such thing as the villain role in real life lmao.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

I gotta prove I can handle it somehow


namesrhardtothinkof

I didn’t pass any judgement on you. I said you need to make peace with yourself. If something’s broke……… fix it. That said, lmao yeah you don’t have any respect because you’re a fucking clown sucker punching people over your feelings. I can understand where ur at. The only thing that got me over that feeling was prison. You ever look into the basics of Buddhism? Life is suffering and suffering is illusory? We imagine an enormous amount of our problems into being (all of them, he claims).


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Nah here’s the thing: you don’t understand how difficult it’s been to never let your feelings determine your actions for your entire life. The pain of having to hold everything in, of having to push them aside because you can’t afford to feel things. Don’t talk to me about having respect. Like I said, I haven’t hurt anyone or disrespected anyone to a degree where this level of pain equates to retribution. You know what? I actually regret having respect for a lot of people. Regret. Do you know how painful it is to regret choosing to be a good person? That’s how fucked up my shit is.


namesrhardtothinkof

Yup. I definitely dont. Nobody’s ever felt like you have before and nobody could possibly understand you. Nobody suffers like you and nobody can tell you anything. What you described definitely isn’t a completely universal experience that every man over the age of 30 has gone through a half dozen times. Definitely not.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

All I need to know if it’s worth it to continue on or if I should just die and wake up


namesrhardtothinkof

Lol that’s a delusional statement. I’m asking you to believe in yourself. To believe things can get better, and you can get better. Does that seem like an unreasonable and impossible ask? You will not “just die and wake up.” That is not rest, it is not sleep and it is not escaping the illusion. It is failure and giving up. The only path ahead is forward. There’s a trillion trillion chances and beautiful things that will fill the course of your life, if you can handle it.


YOUNG_SOSA_24

Nah fuck god. That shit was a big cause of my unhappiness. I don’t need many to be happy. Is it so difficult, is it so wrong for someone to want to just hoop and lift weights without a care in the world? I’m out here trying to live life on my own terms and I suffer for that daily.


quetzalnavarrense

tried to make completely homemade ramen today turned out i bought the wrong type of flour for the noodles so i ended up having to dig some rice noodles out of the cupboard and use those instead otherwise it turned out pretty good, broth was good, ramen eggs were great, and the chashu fucks, i was worried the precooked pork belly from trader joe's would fuck up the recipe i was using but it turned out great i might try and do homemade noodles properly next weekend because i think i did basically everything else right aside from the flour --- london is still blue lmao good to see werner getting an assist, mount and havertz have been a bit underwhelming lately so i'd like to see front two of lukaku and werner with one of mount/havertz/ziyech behind starting against city


rhinestone_cowb0y

How do yall feel about the iphone 13 and pro? I'm using an XR and I'm kinda looking to upgrade (battery & screen burn in), but I felt like the 13 was mostly underwhelming. I'd like to see what a 120hz display looks like in person. I may just wait for the next iphone gen.


ten98765432one

Upgrading from 2020 iPhone SE to 13 pro max. I would wait if you can though. 120hz going to be nice


leetcode4life

Iphone 8 gang checkin in. I will be looking forward to upgrading


Wittygame

I have a 12 Pro, I don’t see any reason to upgrade


AutismIsntAChoice

I have zero desire to upgrade my iphone.


darkfar

Personally 120hz is absolutely crucial to me (Samsung), after making that change I can never look back. XR not that old though so idk if you're not feeling an upgrade I would hold off for now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ry-N0h

yeah im usually on top of the moon or hyper depressed after that shit


M0n33baggz

Try acid if you’re not on ssri’s


mpc_2000xl

I used to have a prescription but once I started taking it every day it just gave me a headache. I liked the effects initially but it wasn't worth the headache and insomnia. Also, I exercise all the time and you're not supposed to exercise on it.


Manarang8

> Also, I exercise all the time and you're not supposed to exercise on it. Didn't know this but it makes sense. another reason why I lost interest in trying it.


Awhile2

This is how I feel about Xanax but I’m too paranoid about my health to ever get addicted to anything I think


ishippounds

Just don’t use it regularly


TheCannedYams

Stuff like this is common place in Sunday DD’s lol Keep it in your mind not to let it get a hold of you though. Good job seeking medication for whatever was ailing you.


HyperIceCube

I love the delivery on die4guy when carti says, "Reggie Carter, Reggie, That's my brother, Jordan Carter, Carti, I'm your brother"